Until I entered the sanctuary of God...

This week, it’s Rebecca writing the blog on behalf of our family. After a wonderful time on the coast, Paul gave my parents a final good weekend here in Arusha. Then he needed to single-handedly take over the job of transitioning our children back into school last week, after a month-long holiday. He reported that he nearly had a mutiny every morning as he tried to wake the kids before dawn in order to get them to the bus on time. Aside from a rough time getting back into the regular schedule though, things went fairly well for him and the kids.

David and Oren making cookies with Gramma Jean

Meanwhile, I had two days of transition back to the office before I needed to leave town to do something completely different from our normal Arusha routine. Back when we worked with MCC in Burundi, I became involved in a movement for Christian reconciliation in the region. It was called the Great Lakes Initiative (GLI), and it brought together “restless” Christian leaders from very different walks of life and gave them opportunity for theological reflection around the idea that reconciliation is the mission of God. It was one of the only venues we ever saw in that region in which both Catholic and Protestant leaders were willing to participate – and even pray – together. And alongside various bishops and other Protestant church leaders, Christian development workers and various community members came to tell their stories and learn from each other during an annual Institute. In between those gatherings, we began to develop a very active network in-country in Burundi. Here is a blog I wrote, right after my last opportunity to participate in the GLI Institute in 2014, if you want more details.

with fellow worship facilitator Acher

I had served on the Board of the GLI for several years until 2014, and when I returned to the continent, the GLI director Prof. Wilfred Mlay contacted me to see if I could become involved again. In fact, he and his wife live just 2 hours from us in Moshi in their retirement home, and we were able to visit them a few months ago. I was very thankful that my new MCC leaders saw the value in my continued participation and allowed me to go to Kampala, Uganda for the Institute. I was invited as a worship facilitator and a speaker on the final day.  Even before I left for Uganda, I had been in contact several times with the two other worship facilitators, one of whom was my pastor in Burundi, Acher Niyonizigiye. The other woman, Josephine Munyeli, and I had worked together on worship for 3 previous GLI Institutes and wrote the GLI theme song together. It was already wonderful and refreshing to be in contact with these old friends.

Our travel to Kampala went reasonably well, and put me in touch with a number of other participants coming from Tanzania. When we arrived, there was time to take some rest and then to begin to catch up with other old friends, including Emmanuel Ndikumana. He had led the IFES (Intervarsity) group in Burundi and then founded our Bujumbura church. Together, we had served as church elders and also worked very hard to bring Protestant leaders in Burundi together to have a positive impact on the formation of a legitimate Truth and Reconciliation Commission in Burundi. It was a great treasure to sense that the bonds formed during that hard work still remain. This was part of recalling a key component of the GLI. As we join God in his mission of reconciliation, we find that fellow travelers become family, and we become a “new we.”

The GLI Institute began on Sunday, but slowly. As participants trickled in, we had a small worship service on Sunday morning in the Ggaba seminary chapel. Again I was grateful that our venue was a place for the training of priests, with such a beautiful and awe-inspiring worship space. Mama Faith Mlay’s message to our small group will challenge me for a long time to come, as the starting point for reconciliation.

Are you willing to worship a God who refuses to be on your side?

Faith recalled the story of Joshua, a faithful and determined leader, who followed the instructions of God carefully. He had circumcised a new generation of Israelites and was preparing to attack Jericho, when he suddenly came across an unknown armed man (Joshua 5:13-15). Like any brave soldier would, he confronted the man and asked, “Whose side are you on? Are you for us or for our enemies?” He was totally unprepared for the answer:

“Neither,” he replied, “but as the commander of the Lord’s army I have come.” This angel demolished all of Joshua’s fixed categories of “us” and “them,” “our side – i.e. those who have truly understood the way of God” and “Their (godless, heathen and heretical) side.” In fact, there seemed to be a more important question implied here: Are you on the Lord’s side? And do you even know what that means?

Joshua had the presence of mind to do the right thing. He fell on his face in awe. And then he remembered to ask an important question. “What message does God have for us?” The angel confirmed that worship is the first and best response to understanding God’s perspective and God’s side: “Take off your shoes, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.”

Since I’m from a country where everything is polarized, politicized, tribal and divided, it’s really difficult to resist the temptation of thinking in terms of “us” and “them.” I have a political perspective and I strongly feel drawn to it. And yet, who am I to ask God to bless “my side?” On the other hand, when I am able to really worship this God who won’t be on my side, when I pledge allegiance to the Lamb, then suddenly the strategy looks like sacrifice and victory looks like death on a cross. I don’t find the achievement of my agenda in any straightforward way. It’s not easy to let God be God.

The Institute began in earnest with an opening time of worship and an address from a faculty member at Duke Divinity School (one of the GLI partners). He recalled a critical moment in the history of the church, when Bishop Ambrose confronted two different emperors who were trying to coopt the church for their political ends. The church past has much to teach the church of the present.

Where are we headed? The New Creation

On Monday morning, we began our journey of theological reflection by recognizing that God has always been working on reconciling all things to himself. In God, another world becomes possible. Fr. Emmanuel Katongole, a Ugandan priest and academic, brought to life the story of Esther. It seemed that she was brought to a position of influence by chance, but in fact she had been prepared by God and was willing to listen to godly people speaking into her life. “Who knows, but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?” With prayer from the community, Esther is able to surrender to the will of God (“if I perish, I perish”) and confront the powers around her in order to change the outcome of events. Sadly, in the case of Esther, the Jews play by the same rulebook as Haman’s people who were determined to exterminate them. Fr. Katongole pointed out that God’s new creation involves more imaginative ways to open up new creation and include an expanding “we.”

We heard the inspiring witness of Dr. David and Dr. Kaswera Kasale. He resigned from a safe, well-paid position as head of a theological college in Nairobi to return to their home community in the Democratic Republic of Congo with 3 school-aged children. There, against all sense, they have established a Christian university and are revealing new creation on the outskirts of power.

What’s going on? Lament

Our second day compelled us to look critically at the world we live in, and to “see things which can only be seen with eyes that have cried.” God is bringing about new creation, but our reality falls far short. During worship, our devotional speaker Marion described in graphic terms some of the cases she is lamenting for in her home country of Kenya, and asked, “Does Jesus really care?” In worship we responded by calling out to God to see us: “Angalia, Baba!”

Father Jacob, a scholar from DRC, unpacked the short prophetic book of Obadiah with two very different imaginative readings. On the one hand, we see the struggle between Edom and Israel as a family struggle between two brothers, Esau and Jacob. As “Jacob” is being destroyed by Babylon and taken into exile, “Esau” just stands by to watch, to mock and even to profit from Jacob’s defeat. How often do we just stand on the sidelines while our brothers and sisters are suffering from war and displacement? On the other hand, Fr. Jacob pointed out that perhaps the nation of Israel, through the prophet Obadiah, is really just looking for a scapegoat to explain the suffering, blaming their problems on a nearby tribe, Edom, whom they already distrusted. He reminded us that “tribes exist, but ideology about tribes is constructed and imposed upon us.” As we lament, we need to also examine our ideologies and make sure we are not blaming others for our suffering, simply because of the dogma we’ve learned. We ended the day in worship, led by a group of Ugandan Catholics, crying out in many languages for our various countries.

Models of the torture tree

What does hope look like? Pilgrimage

On Wednesday morning, we left the seminary to take buses on a pilgrimage. We visited the site where 45 young Ugandan men (22 Catholics and 23 Anglicans) were martyred in 1886. Read more about the Uganda Martyrs here. Most of these young men were pages or officials, serving in the court of the Baganda King Mwanga II. Although his father had tolerated the conversion of some Baganda people, King Mwanga became increasingly upset with the new way of life he saw among the Christian converts. The final straw came when he heard them praying the Lord’s Prayer: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come…” 

King Mwanga heard a threat to his own power with this coming Kingdom and soon the young men were forced to declare their allegiance, either to the King or to Christ. All but three refused to renounce their faith and they were sentenced to death by burning. They walked, or were dragged on their backs, to the execution site Namugongo. They spent a week in chains, enduring torture, hunger and thirst, but also in prayer, refusing to recant. Finally, those who had lived through the week were bound in reed mats and burned alive. They died, singing and encouraging one another. As it turned out, the blood of the martyrs was the seed of the church. Even their chief executioner was converted by the testimony of the young men he killed. By the time missionaries were able to return to the area several years later, they found 1500 Christians waiting for instruction.

An Anglican church and museum has been built at the execution site, around the actual torture tree, and just up the hill from the spring where the executioners washed blood from their weapons. It includes an assortment of grisly sculptures, depicting the type of torture and inhumane treatment those Christian martyrs endured. Every facial expression asks the question of the observer: “faced with this, would you remain true to Jesus?” And on the other side we find a warning: Fear turns us into animals and allows us to treat other human beings the way those executioners tortured the young men.

Violette and new friend Sr Dona

It was a sobering day, and when we returned to Ggaba seminary we had some time to rest before reconvening. Dr. Celestin Musekura, a pastor from Rwanda, challenged us on what it looks like to have real Christian hope. He drew inspiration from 1 Peter 1:3-13, as Peter addresses a Christian community that has suffered poverty, displacement and persecution. And he asked a series of penetrating questions about “how to know if I am living in hope.”

1. Do I have an unquenchable joy? (v 6)
2. Do I value character growth more than feeling good? (v 7)
3. Am I doubting or deepening in my love for Jesus? (v 8 – 9)
4. Do I see the privilege of living in my time in history? (v 10 – 12)
5. Do I keep my eyes on the Prize? (v 13)

These questions challenge my faith even now. Am I motivated by joy or by fear? Do I have boldness? Am I seeking God’s direction in this time and giving thanks for it? Celestin was a great speaker, having literally risked his life to bring hope to people in refugee camps in Darfur, South Sudan and on the border with Burundi.

What kind of leadership do we need?

Violette and Ken responding to questions on leadership

On Thursday morning, two mature Christian leaders spoke to us of their life journeys and the kind of leadership they have been converted to. Violette Nyirarukundo was involved as an advisor of the MCC program in Rwanda, and I have sat at her feet in past years and learned much. She is a trained Christian counselor and spoke about overcoming the anger and resistance in her own heart, following the genocide in her country. She reminded us that “our suffering is precious. Don’t waste it. It can become a very important tool for God’s healing in the lives of others.”

Ken Butigen teaches Christian nonviolent responses to conflict. He encouraged us in the practical mobilization of a community to seek change nonviolently, pointing out that it actually works 2 times better than violent campaigns for change, according to rigorous research. He stressed the need for training and discipline in nonviolent action. And he encouraged Christian leaders to share the gospel of nonviolence with others. Interestingly, many pastors did not seem to be familiar with the link between the gospel and nonviolence, but were hungry to learn more. Most evangelical teaching focuses on personal salvation and neglects the way that Jesus actually lived. I personally think there is a growing edge in theological training around the person and practice of Jesus and how it offers us a new approach to living a holistic Christian life. And this relates directly to being a good Christian leader and a shepherd of our people.

Why me? Why bother? Spirituality for the long-haul

Kenyans leading worship

After a joyful time of worship, led by a team from South Sudan, I had been asked to speak on the final morning of our gathering. I really don’t think I’m the best person to speak on the topic of spirituality for the long-haul, but I guess I’m qualified in the sense that I’m still struggling but also still standing. I decided to explore Psalm 73 and reimagine it. Here is my new version of Psalm 73, after a fair bit of study of the text, a version which speaks to me, in my situation, today. In fact, I found I had to return to the topic of lament. I lamented the situation in which I find myself, what has happened in Burundi where I used to live and what has happened in my own nation. I lamented the fact that God has allowed the wrong people to enjoy the shalom that should go to God’s people. I talked about the anger and frustration, and the risk of finding our feet slipping when faced with the world we live in.

The only real corrective I’ve found is what Asaph also found: “I entered the sanctuary of God.” I urged my fellow Christian leaders to take a time of Sabbath. We need to gain God’s perspective on what we’re facing (not just endlessly rehearse our own side of the story). In Sabbath rest, we find solid ground, rest, strength, the ability to roar in anger and still feel God holding us firmly by the right hand. We receive counsel from God, which we couldn’t dream up on our own. And we, by God’s grace, might still have a story to tell of God’s goodness at the end of our days, as the martyrs did, rather than a story of bitter betrayal.

We ended the week with a time of joyful celebration in worship. Lots of different people participated and brought their musical gifts to bear. We received a charge from Dr. Musekura, and we ended by singing that “God is so good,” in at least 10 different languages.

In between all these highlights of content, I can’t even begin to recount the many intense 30 minute conversations with old and new friends, the meetings with colleagues from Tanzania, good times of connection with MCC staff from around the region, and even connections with Christian leaders from Baltimore, whom I might see again in the future. God was truly very good to me over this past week, and I am thankful.

New friends from Uganda

My return journey home was smooth, and I was very, very happy to see Paul and my sons again. It was especially sweet to receive all the snuggles from my boys and to have time to catch up together. Oren and David even agreed to take a walk with me when we got home, to share all that has been going on. And now, we are at the beginning of our first really normal week of 2018. I am grateful, and I am ready to see and understand the privilege of living at this time and place in history, and to find out what God has in mind for me and my family here.