A Toothache, A Birthday, A Wedding, Killer bees, and More!

Hanging out at coffee lodge.

I actually have a few anecdotes to start this entry, but one that explains the delay in posting also has the happy result that I found there is an excellent dentist here in Arusha. Sometime over the weekend I began to get a pain in a tooth. Although if anyone out there has had a bad toothache you know that the radiating pain can be so excruciating that it is hard to tell even what part of the mouth it originates from. I knew Rebecca had taken the kids for a cleaning to a dentist last spring so I got the number and made an appointment for the next day.

Dr. Tanya, as she is called, is from Macecdonia. (I am still not sure of all the countries that made up former Yugoslavia) but the sign at her gate says she is a 'dental surgeon', and I will say that she was able to figure out which tooth had cracked under an old filling, and painlessly repaired it. I was especially impressed by how modern the office was, particulalry a 'digital X-ray' machine which was amazing. She did a lot of her work with the help of a large screen monitor just above the chair. But with the digital X-ray, she could put a small wand by a tooth and get an instant X-ray on the screen with 1/10th radiation of a normal X-ray! More technologically advanced than my dentist in the US!

I now have a temporary filling in case a root canal needs to follow (depending on whether I relapse into severe pain again.) But so far so good. Of course coming from the US, what is most surprising  is how much cheaper medical and dentral care is here. The repair of the tooth, filling, Xray, etc. was under $50. A root canal will run me about $250. I can't really say enough about how great it feels to be pain-free again. (Something we don't appreciate when we have not been in pain.)

The last week has offered a number of opportunities to do things we have not done before here, and to repeat things that we did a year ago that are returning with the season--only now we are not the 'new guys'. One event was the Birthday of one of David's classmates last Saturday. Samwel was the first kid in David's school to invite him to a Birthday when we arrived. I remember taking David out to Tembo club to play. As I recall, being the new kid was not entirely comfortable and he got into several fist fights and did not make a great impression.

After a year, though, Samwel is one of David's very good friends at school and David has a large cadre of friends in his class. Going to the birthday this year was quite different. Almost all the same kids, but David seemed much more at home. I went with Oren to the outdoor restaurant (Tembo Club) and he worked on homework-- a large poster detailing the causes of WWI while David played with his friends and ate kuku na chipsi (chicken and french fries) and Birthday cake.

Rebecca was not with us because she had agreed to be the family representative at a local wedding of for the brother of Nai, our housekeeper. Rebecca is here to give an account:

In this culture, the family of the groom is responsible for hosting the wedding reception, so I made my way to Nai's parents' home in the village over the hill south of our compound. Luckily I was able to follow Nai's husband on his motorbike along wandering dirt roads to reach the place. I had been told that many weddings actually begin hours after the scheduled reporting time for guests. In this case, I found them in full swing at 3 pm. Two huge tents had been set up in the field beside the house, and probably 500 people were gathered to watch the proceedings. After greetings and prayers, the couple began to hand out ceremonial wedding cakes to honor first their respective parents, then the pastors, and then a few other guests...including me! I was very suprised to be receiving a cake thanking Paul and I, but then I guess we had given a substantial gift to Nai to help with expenses. Next, various couples were called forward to feed each other big bites of cake, some gracefully, and some with quite a bit of humorous awkwardness. Then various categories of people collected cash from their fellows, processing in a long dancing line forward towards the bridal dias, and placing bills in the hands of those responsible. Later, they presented the totals proudly to the couple: The parents raised 372,000! the sisters raised... the aunties raised... Some gifts were physical, too: big cooking pots, blankets, a rope to tie up the gift goat from a brother (goat wasn't present). And finally, we were all invited in order of rank to partake of a big buffet meal. It was fun and interesting and Nai was very happy to introduce me to her family. I drove back home just as the sun was getting low in the sky.

Paul again: So that was last Saturday, but Sunday had its adventures as well. Because our home is on the far side of town from many people we know, we packed to be out for the day on Sunday and went to church so we could do some things afterwards without having to come home. After church we had lunch at a Tanzanian self-proclaimed Mexican restaurant, which does not quite 'get' Mexican food. The fried tortilla chips for nachos were hard as a rock, and the soft taco tortillas were basically porridge that had to be eaten with a fork. Afterwards, we stopped by the Shanga handicrafts cottage industry where people with disabilities make various things out of fabric, beads, and glass. It is always fascinating watching someone operating a hand loom, or blowing glass. Rebecca tried her hand at glass blowing when offered the chance. You can see her results in the photo.

Later in the afternoon we went to the compound of some Norwegian missionaries who host volleyball on Sundays. I don't think I have done this kind of thing since highschool, and brought back memories of the 'Family Singers' of my youth (shout out to Jo, Charlene, Louise, Jean, etc.). It was great to have Oren join the adults in the game, several of whom were quite accomplished. Oren had been doing volleyball in school last year, and really distinguished himself by scoring over 20 points in 3 games when he was serving! He is actually getting really tall. David played with some of the kids in the compound but did join in one game as well. It was a great time, however the distance will limit the number of times in a month we can come to these games.

The week was eventful at work as I have heard back from the board granting ethical approval for my research who have asked for some major revisions. A bit disappointing but it is good to be able to plod ahead again. I am also getting ready for a trip to the Lake region next week to visit a partner so those preparations took a lot of time as well.

We had three events at school this past week. One was the secondary school 'meet the teachers and faculty' on Tuesday evening. We went as a family after work to hear about the secondary school programs this year. I was a bit shocked that despite being well publicized there were only about 3 sets of parents for a school of about 400 students. Granted, a fair number are boarders. The presentation itself was well done and we could certainly ask many specific questions. It is interesting to hear them talk about goals mostly in relation to preparing for O and A levels which is really the main interest of parents here as most are paying to go to a British school for the opportunity to study abroad. Getting top marks is the only ticket out--and an expensive one at that for most people here.

This past Friday, we had two more school events, one was an assembly to which we were invited, (Rebecca went), presented to the school by David's class. It was about diversity, a major focus of the school. The kids introduced the different ethnic groups represented by children in Tanzania, as well as South Asians, and other foreigners. David, the only American in his class was asked to do the Star Spangled Banner. It was kind of funny because he did not even know the words at the beginning of the week. Our family sung it daily at meals, in the car, etc. until he memorized it. He did an excellent job with it at the assembly and got alot of applause. He does have a beautiful voice and it was impressive to see him do a solo. (It is posted on Rebecca's facebook page.)

Oren had an event on Friday evening. It was a 'disco' at the school. Rebecca and I remembering middle school 'mixers' as fairly innocuous social events really encouraged him to go. He found out his friend Abraham was going so he agreed. When we picked him up afterwards though, both he and Abraham were quite scandalized by the amount of 'twerking' the kids were doing at the disco. They were not excited about going to something like this in the future.

snake we caught in our backyard.

While Oren was at the disco, Rebecca, David, and I went to Gymkhana and had another 'African' adventure. Apparently a gardener had tried to spray a bees nest in the roof of a building and had really stirred them up. African bees are 'killer bees' which is really about how aggresive they are, not how venomous. When we arrived, we had to park in a far off lot and go in a back way to the club house. There were dead bees everywhere and tons of people had been stung. One bee started chasing me and I see what they mean by aggressive I ran very, very, far and finally was able to escape into a room. The bee absolutely refused to quit chasing me. Apparently it was sheer chaos several hours before when the swarm started and many people around the club, wait staff, caddies, golfers, swimmers, etc. were stung and forced to flee. Our waiter's eye was completely swollen shut when he came to take our order. I can affirm that you should not mess with bees here.

Many more smaller adventures but I need to stop here. I will end by mentioning that we caught a green snake in our back yard. It is 99% likely to be a harmless water snake and 1% chance it is a juvenile green mamba. Sent a photo to the snake park here and they say it is a green water snake.

School Days-- Iron Rule Days

Rebecca with beet harvest from our garden.

The weather has definitely changed in the past week. It was cold as recently as last Tuesday, and now it is not. The sun is beating down harder, the dryness is turning everything to dust, we don't need socks in our houses at night. I have not worn a wetsuit in the pool this week, and I am in short sleeves at work. I know many like the cold, but I am definitely a warm weather person.

Last week I described some of the ways in which we are thwarted and left to wait patiently for the oft-constipated bowels of bureaucracies to move (Tanzanian and Canadian), and I have no updates of change to report at this writing although it seems certain now, that the visa process will not be done in time for our volunteer to participate in the program for her in Canada. We are hoping for better outcomes on the other things we are wating for.

We have been enjoying the return to school routines for the third week and have settled into activities we participated in last year on weeknights we feel we can spare. Wednesday evening choir is the most consistent. Since the kids are dropped off at our office by the school bus at 4:30 pm, we usually head straight there when they arrive and get home after 7. That is a general challenge of our situation: we really need to be prepared with all of our stuff for the entire workday and evening before we leave at 6:40am. Choir is enjoyable for Rebecca and I and the kids are content to read or search the church grounds for hedgehogs and chameleons (and usually find at least one). We are preparing music for a church harvest festival at the end of September. We are singing an eclectic repertoire with a choral selection from Handel's Judas Maccabeus called "Praise the Lord," a quirky barbershop quartet version of the old hymn 'Count your blessings' and another contemporary piece called "Thankful" that sounds like a jazzy Sondheim ballad. We have a mixed group of Tanzanian, European and South Asian singers, so it has been a rewarding challenge to get us to sing together in harmony in the 'crunchier' sections of the music.

Among the highlights of the last 10 days, I would mention three that were somewhat out of the routine. The first was a team meeting this past Friday. In an organization like MCC, the character of a team can change significantly from year to year based on the number of 1, 3, and 6 year expatriate staff that come and go. In a way, each fall can feel like a fresh start as most changes happen over the summer. It is also typical for staff to take vacations for some part of the summer. Our family was out of town, as was our Country Rep Sharon. We have all been back together in the office in the past month but this was the first all-day meeting where we discussed directions for the year ahead, changing roles, etc. We met at Sharon's house and had lunch together as well. It is interesting to see that we are smaller this year; notably Zoe, our SALT volunteer, left after her year of service and we were not successful in recruiting any new one-year volunteers this year. I am posting a photo here of our MCC team this year. Besides me and Rebecca, there is Sharon our Country Rep, Lucia our Finance Officer, and Chrispin our Agriculture Programs Coordinator. Among the exciting things we discussed was the location of our planned annual retreat. It is not decided yet, but Zanzibar as well as Mwanza on Lake Victoria are high on the list. This is one of the perks of living in such a beautiful country.

Friday evening we had a surprise visitor. Nyambura, a friend of Rebecca's from seminary who lives in Kenya, was down in Arusha for a wedding. She came in by bus from Nairobi and we picked her up on the way home from Gymkhana on Friday. She only had a short visit with us, not even staying over, but Rebecca enjoyed catching up after nearly 15 years of not seeing each other.

The second unusual activity was a field trip our family took this weekend to the far northwest end of town. (We live on the Southeast end) so it was about an hour drive. Our friends, Neil and Christy Rowe Miller, who attend our church here and are former MCCers, live closer to the foothills of Mt. Meru. (Interesting side note, Neil is a cousin of Marjorie, a classmate from high school who I saw at our HS reunion this summer.) We drove up to their house and then took a hike into the Meru foothills. We walked around for several hours in an agro-forest that surrounds Arusha National Park which goes up to the top of Mt. Meru. It was good to get out of town and do some hiking, although being dry season it was incredibly dusty on many of the paths and we came home looking like we had been plowing a field all day. Although we did not summit any ridges we did have some nice overlooks on Arusha, and passed through some interesting ravines. No wildlife except Neil's two dogs that accompanied us.

When we got back to their house, Christy had prepared Nestle's toll house cookies (a rare treat!) and a spaghetti dinner. We really enjoyed the time together with them and we learned about an app (Openstreets) where all the trails around the foothills of Meru are marked and can be followed with GPS on a phone. So we are hoping to come back and do some more exploring sometime.

Rebecca led music for church on Sunday and I continue to help with Sunday school registration. What is interesting about our Sunday school is that we had about 75 this week, and in the class I had taught, about 2/3 were new, and about 1/3 from the previous week were not there. I can see it will be a challenge to keep track of who is who in this context.

Teachers arriving into training session.

Monday morning at work was our third unusual event. Rebecca and I went to witness a training conducted by one of our local partners, Mwangaza, at a secondary school about 45 minutes out of Arusha. The project they are doing is teacher professional development on sensitization to issues of child protection. To that end, they are training teachers to refrain from using corporal punishment as a behavior management tool in favor of more effective alternative forms of discipline. While corporal punishment is highly regulated in TZ (not quite illegal), it is still frequently used in schools by many teachers, and generally looked upon favorably. The training includes awareness about the psychological harm that can result and reasons why it is less effective  compared to other classroom management strategies. The training includes a workshop to help the school write and implement a child protection policy, and to implement 'safe school clubs' (anti-bullying clubs) for kids because bullying is another common form of school violence.

Rebecca and I listened for a half day with 28 teachers who were participating. It was interesting and a great opportunity to practice our Swahili comprehension. Fortunately they provided many written materials which are easier to understand because the words are in front of us. The 5-day training began with a philosophical discussion of mindset (fixed vs. growth) to encourage teachers to think about how to approach difficult challenges. It was a good strategy because much of what they taught afterwards was quite challenging to many implicit assumptions about their practices. Generally, though, I sensed the teachers were open to change and particpated actively.

David's Swahili homework.

On the subject of education, since I did not post yesterday evening, I will mention one last activity we participated this Tuesday evening, which was a visit to our own kids' school for parents to meet the primary school teachers. Because school is so far from home, we opted to pick up the kids directly from school and spend an hour at the nearby Coffee Lodge until the program began. It is good to be involved as much as possible. St. Constantine's is a good school, but some of the teaching can be uneven and it is important as parents to be on top of details and express expectations. David is not as satisfied this year as he was last year and we are trying to make sure that he is getting what he needs pedagogically in a way that reflects best practices in primary education. It is challenging because the British system, particularly in Africa, puts a very high value on conformity and rigid obedience, as a pathway to success in school. Threat of punishment is often preferred over positive reinforcement. (Ex. David's whole class just got their first detention because someone was running during morning line-up. They all had to write down the 100 rules of St. Constantine during recess. Are there that many? I think it ended up being a creative writing assignment!)

St. Cons tries to do much better, but many of teachers only experienced that in their own education and may not have the experience to do something different. I think it helps if parents like us can help children negotiate these experiences and make the best of the situation they are in.

I am caught up to the present moment, so I will stop here.

Bonus Photo: David helping with beets too.

Tales of Confusion and Delay

Relaxing after school at Gymkhana.

For those of you with young children, the title of the blog should be all too familiar. It is, after all, the cardinal sin of all engines on the island of Sodor under the stern tutelage of Sir Tophamhatt (a.k.a. the fat controller).

I always enjoyed watching Thomas the Tank Engine with Oren when he was young. (George Carlin was narrating at that time.) I especially appreciated the Anglican sensibilities of Thomas and Friends' creator, the Rev. Wilbert Awdry, who endowed the engines with a classic British utilitarian morality where the highest virtue for an engine is 'being useful', and the worst transgression: causing confusion and delay.

Life in a post-colonial bureaucracy, modeled roughly on the sensibilities of the Brits has given me a new appreciation for the utilitarian moral code, especially as we have been bogged down in a number of govt. bureaucratic processes that have slowed us down in various ways. I will share them, not in a spirt of criticism, but more bemusement. When I first moved to this context a decade ago, I was easily up in arms at every snafu, but now I am better (most of the time) at waitng for something to change.

We are now moving into week 2 of school and the good news is, the dread of returning, far exceeded the reality of how bad it really is. In fact, we continued to get good reports about reconnecting with friends, feeling familiar with the routine and gratitude that they were not starting again in a new place. Of Oren's two best friends (Abraham and Abraham) one has returned and the other transferred to a school in town so he will hopefully see them both. Oren was not disappointed by his teachers although his maths teacher is assigning every problem at the end of each chapter every night, which is, to my mind a bit excessive. French continues to be a challenge and I continue to be amazed at how completely he can forget everything he ever knew about it, even with a week of review with a French tutor before he returned. He is excited about history which will cover the 20th century this year, including both World Wars. (He is quite a WWII history buff.)

David was disappointed to find his homeroom teacher was pretty mean. (Strict that is.) He even said she menaced a beating for misbehaving in her homeroom. (This is a very common empty threat here, as corporal punishment is not permitted at St. Constantine.) But she does sound like she is somewhat of an intimidator. Oren also has a few of these types of strict disciplinarians. I have told them that it is good to learn how to cope with all kinds of people as they can expect to find such types throughout their lives.

Oren is also doing swimming as his extra-curricular sport this year. He was not very enthusiastic about it, but with an incentive of one hour per school week of screen time (we eliminated all screens during the week except Saturday) he agreed to do it. After the first practice he came back smiling saying it was lots of fun. I wish I could say swimming has been fun for Rebecca and I who continue to do it between 7 and 8 am every morning after dropping the kids off at the bus. The water continues to be below 60 in the morning. It is tolerable with a wetsuit, but Arusha is always cold, cloudy, damp and breezy in the morning (the mountain effect). So even getting out and changing leaves one with a chill. We are all still using our space heaters by our desks at work.

Without screens we have enjoyed late afternoon games with the kids, as well as some crafts. David was very keen on making a bow and arrow. It worked pretty well for about a day. Other activities around the compound include walks and jumping on the trampoline. There are also some new guard dogs that are being broken in. They really seem to like David which makes him quite happy as he is a dog lover.

For any other dog lovers, I highly recommend the movie Alpha, which we saw at the theater here this weekend. (3D movies are only $4 here.) It was great. We went with Oren, David, and Oren's friend Abraham and his younger brother Ezechiel. We followed it up with a pizza at AIM mall.

This past Saturday was a highlight worth mentioning for Rebecca and I as we were two of the primary trainers in an all day Sunday School training seminar. It was interesting to be part of, because I was surprised, when our church announced it, that there would be folks interested in coming in all day for a Saturday to learn about how to teach Sunday school. But we had around 10 participants. Rebecca taught music, and I did a presentation on crafts and other ways to supplement a lesson. I even made a pretty elaborate powerpoint on ideas ranging from paper-plate dove cut-out, snowflakes, and origami, to mazes, wordsearch, and Eric Carle style collaging. It was all quite well received and I would have never thought myself to be an expert at craft sticks, but I realize I have been doing this for about 5 years now. (Free advice-- avoid mobiles like the plague!)

Sunday school workshop

Despite these bouts of productivity, there are some places where we are waiting for various things that have become mired in the 'confusion and delay' of bureaucratic processes over which we have little control. Some  are urgent, others not so much. Among the least problematic is the long delay Rebecca and I have endured in getting our drivers licences. The process of getting them required a half day and was nearly as complex as it was rendundant. We thought it ended on that day when we completed it and got a temporary drivers pass. We were told to come back in a month to get the permanent licence. When we dutifully went back we were told to come the following month because they were out of laminating material for the licences so they were not ready.

Office Birthday for our colleague Chrispin.

This has happened for the past 3 months and now there has been an official government notice that the lack of laminating material is a problem (no explanation, no accountability, no indication when it would be solved). It affects national IDs, and licences. It was odd because when we went in, the woman who laminates the licences seemed to have been coming in daily for the past 4 months with nothing to do. When we went the last time and we asked when it would be resolved the woman rolled her eyes and said she did not know. Since our temp. licences had expired she suggested laminating our payment receipts and keeping them in the car. I don't know what the police will do, but the bigger question which bemuses me is how did this happen? There is certainly laminating material readily available here, so why can't the TRA have any for producing vital documents? Anyway, I am learning not to be curious. Most people treat these problems the way you treat a flooded basement, or a muddy road-- it happens, you just make do until things get better.

The second process we have been awaiting was resolved yesterday, I am happy to say. This involved getting the kids' uniforms. We were warned in several emails by the school that everyone was expected to be in Class A 'smart' uniforms from day 1. Parents tried, on numerous occasions in the week prior to school starting, to get these uniforms at the St. Cons. uniform shop only to be told they were at the border and would be there by the following afternoon. (No matter when you went, you were always assured they would arrive 'the following afternoon.') Rebecca went on several occasions up through the first weekend when we finally received word on the night before school started that uniforms had not arrived and there would be some 'amesty' for those who did not have any old ones for kids to wear before day 1.

We waited for nearly 2 more weeks with assurances that the uniforms were just hours from clearing the border before they finally arrived. We were relieved because Oren was almost popping out of his pants, and David's shirts were a mess. Sadly on day 2 David changed into his PE kit and left his full uniform, shoes, and fleece school jacket at school. They were promptly stolen and we had to replace many of the pieces he lost.

The third process I am waiting for is related to a research project we are doing for MCC related to our maternal and child health project. I have applied for an ethical clearance form to do some qualitative interviews. I actually (foolishly) thought it would be fairly straight-forward. I had a website with clear instructions and also a contact- a professor- who was helping through the process. I spent about a month pulling together all materials I needed to submit. CVs of all authors, the proposal, budget, all interviews and consent forms submitted in English and Swahili, a receipt of payment for a fee, approval letters from local authorities, our partner, our donor, etc.

I submitted these several months ago, and after not hearing for about a month I asked my contact how it was going. He got back to me about 2 weeks later and said that all I needed to do was send the things on a checklist he sent. --It was all of the same materials I had submitted a month earlier. He also said I paid the wrong account, eventhough I had verified the account on the website and also called the institute and was told it was the right account. He did agree to look into that when I complained, but I did resubmit every single thing.

A months later I reached out again and he got back again and said that the committee had accepted my materials and were going to review them shortly and give me feedback (this was last week). This process started in March and it is now September. I was hoping to start the surveys, but from what I can tell there is a long way to go in this process. Once they start reviewing they will certainly want to have a few back and forth requests. So I don't know where this ends. But I am learning to be patient.

The final process we are mired in, is one Rebecca is trying to shepherd through. This one involves the Canadian governement for a change. MCC sent 2 Tanzanians for 1 year volunteer experiences in the US and Canada this year. The process of getting such visas is hard, and you would think it would be worse in the US. Surprisingly, though, the young man going to the US got his visa fairly quickly. The young woman we are sending to Canada, however, has been wating for month, and despite a computerized notification service, has received absolutely no word about progress. It is becomming more and more likely that she will not get to go because the position availability will close soon, even if she does succeed in getting the visa eventually. If you know anything about people from 'majority world' countries trying to get to North America, you know that the immigration officers who process these requests are well protected from any inquiries about progress. Rebecca, Sharon-our rep, and others have been in contact to no avail except to get polite, curt, automated responses saying the process is continuing and to please be patient. It does not look however that any progress is being made of if the process has stopped for some reason. It is frustrating that there is such deliberate shielding of the whole process and no mechanism for advocacy or even inquiry. You again, have the opportunity to trust, pray, and realize that there is very little in life that you control.

Hopefully I will have updates on some of these processes in the days and weeks ahead, in the meantime, in the words of Sir Toppham Hatt-- there is nothing but 'confusion and delay'.

Year 2--Back into the Fray

Rebecca writing again:

No smiling faces at 6am breakfast for day 1 at school.

This morning, reality hit. Our alarms went off at 5 am. The school supplies had been assembled. Bags were packed the night before with water and a snack. School uniforms had been laid out in advance. We left the house at 6:45. Not everyone was happy about it. Some of the younger members of our family had been enjoying sleeping in until 7:30 up until yesterday. Thus, there is no “smiling, walking out the door on the first day of school” picture. Just to be sure things got off to a good start, we drove the kids to school this morning. And, as of today, we have completed the two months of school break and (in my mind) officially started the second year of our assignment with MCC.

mourners at Upendo's funeral

Let me step back to last week. The biggest event for the community where we live was the funeral for Upendo, which took place on Tuesday. All weekend, our neighbor’s house was packed with visitors, mostly outside on benches, keeping the young widowed father of 3 company. I went over late on Monday evening and sat for a while with an older aunt and several younger women. Some of them were just sitting silently and wearily. A few were teary. The aunt just seemed to want to chat about all kinds of things with me, and not just about Upendo’s death. I guess the point of such visits is being present with those who are grieving – it’s less about having something profound to say.

On Tuesday morning, a large group went to collect Upendo’s body and bring her back in procession from the morgue, as a way of honoring her. I was watching my kids and the young children of some other neighbors on the compound, as a way of enabling them to attend the funeral and grieve freely. Paul attended the funeral as the official representative from our family. He may have more to say about it here.

Rebecca and Godliving birdwatching

Wednesday happened to be a public holiday, and we made very good use of the day out as a family. Through our church choir, we have gotten to know a young Tanzanian man named Godliving Shoo. He is a member of a birdwatching club and offered to take us out on a birdwatching trip. So, we did something completely new and drove out to a nearby lake, less than 40 minutes away. Lake Duluti is fairly small at just 1 km across, but it’s a crater lake (the opening of a collapsed volcano) and is estimated to be 700 m deep! There’s a nice trail around the periphery of the lake, and one could probably complete it in an hour.

Black crowned night heron

We took almost four hours, however, because there were so many birds to look at along the way. Godliving and his fellow club member Lina were very skilled at spotting and identifying the birds we saw. I know a lot of the families of birds I see, from experience in Botswana and Burundi, but I am still learning to identify the different species here. I was also grateful for the patience of our guides as they would point out a bird and ask me what I thought I was seeing and help me sort through the options to come to the right identification. Godliving had one of those bird-call apps on his phone and a few times he played it loud enough to attract real birds of the same species so that we could see and identify them. It was a bit funny to see the puzzled looks on the faces of the Olive-gray greenbuls as they tried to understand who was calling!

We also saw some impressively large monitor lizards, both sunbathing and swimming. A pair of blue monkeys were hanging out in a tree as we passed. David enjoyed trying his hand at fishing for the first time in Arusha. He didn’t catch any fish, but did get a large crayfish that grabbed his bait and would not let go. Oren was a good sport through the walk and bird watching. He would probably have preferred to just hike at a steady pace, rather than stop and look at things, but he was relatively patient.

By the time we were finished with our outing, it was almost time for choir. We grabbed an ice cream for the kids and then went straight to church to practice our music for the upcoming Harvest Festival at the end of September. Again, the young guys weren’t so happy to go from one thing to the next, but they have learned how to entertain themselves around the church property.

On Thursday, Paul went to work as usual, while the kids and I drove out to my bible study group in the West part of town. I’m glad that David enjoys playing with the other little kids who come. He also had lots of fun collecting guavas from someone’s tree. Oren brought his book and curled up in a bedroom to read for a while. I enjoyed a more intimate time to catch up with some of the members of our bible study. One woman is expecting a baby any day now. We are praying fervently for a safe, healthy, complication free delivery for her. It was a poignant reminder of the realities of childbirth that most women in the world face, as we also prayed for Upendo’s bereaved family. The birth of a healthy new baby is a gift and grace, and not an entitlement – something we take for granted in the west.

On our way back towards home, I attempted to get a few new uniform pieces for my kids. Sadly, the uniform shop at school had still not received the new stock. So, our kids went to school in their old uniforms – a bit tight, worn and untidy, but at least they had something to wear. I noted that this afternoon, the new uniforms still hadn’t come in! 

On Friday after work, we enjoyed sharing conversation and dinner with our friend Prof. Wilfred Mlay. He has served as the ambassador of the Great Lakes Initiative for Reconciliation among Christian leaders. I’ve known him since 2010 and have really valued any time we get to share together. He’s officially retired from the GLI but still very busy with it and it was lovely to catch up on the news of what is planned for next January. He had never been to Gymkhana before, so I was glad we could show him our verdant little get-away.

Most of my Saturday was taken up with church activities – a worship committee meeting, and then rehearsal for leading worship music on Sunday. I guess I’m crazy for enjoying church committees, but I find it stimulating to think through how things can be done well and faithfully in the Christian community. The drawback of this activity was that Paul was left alone with the kids for most of the day. I think they wore him out, because he really wasn’t feeling well by late afternoon when I got home.

I’m also so grateful for the young adults who have been willing to join me each time in being part of an ad hoc worship team. In the end, on Sunday, two women joined as singers and two young men played guitar and drums. It was a family service, and we’d picked songs the children had learned in Sunday school. Paul even led motions for the whole congregation on two songs. We had fun!

The one snag in our Sunday was that Oren also started feeling very unwell. It is still unclear to us whether he is sick with a parasite, or whether the start-up of school is taking its toll on his nerves. We would appreciate prayers for the anxiety he feels in starting this school year.

Bonus Photo:  Oren painting 'Foxy' on his wall to give make his room more his own.

Grounding and grief

Nasturtiums, cilantro and german flowers

Rebecca writing this week: We have been back in Arusha for a week now. Since we arrived in a state of complete exhaustion, jet lag was not such a big problem for us, although there was one night when Oren woke up around 4 am and couldn't get himself back to sleep. If it's only one night, that's not so bad, I guess. I was glad to see that my flowers in pots actually grew while we were away, and the gardener had done a good job helping a nice crop of beetroot to thrive. 


Paul immediately went back to work on Monday morning, after taking his freezing cold swim. He had a lot of reports to receive and read over, and didn't waste any time getting through them all by Wednesday. I needed to greet our housekeeper Nai and make sure things were OK with her on Monday morning. So I worked from home on Monday morning, and tried to keep the kids going on unpacking and cleaning their rooms in the meantime. It was a real joy to talk on the phone with one of our International Volunteer Exchange Program participants, right before he got on the plane to head to an assignment in Goshen, Indiana. Our second participant is still waiting for her visa to come through from Canada. It's a real nail-biter in her case.

Nai outside our house

In the early afternoon, I dropped the kids off at the Alliance Francaise, where I signed them up for French tutoring three afternoons a week. The kids were not very pleased to hear about this strategy for me to get some more work hours in the office and for them to get ready for school. However, we promised them a movie and slushie at the end of the week if they cooperated. And Oren really needs a little extra help. Despite having learned to read and write in French, back at the Belgian school in Burundi, he was able to completely forget everything he ever knew. It was the most difficult subject for him last year (not counting Kiswahili) and he will need to continue with it in Year 9. We are hoping that 12 hours of study and conversation wtih a real Swiss Francophone in these two weeks might begin to unlock the deeply buried knowlege that we trust is somehow still inside his brain... and at least make his life a little easier for the year to come.

Mt Meru from Gymkhana golf course Tuesday evening

I don't generally work on Tuesdays, and so the kids and I were able to have a more relaxed day. We started a game of Monopoly which we have yet to finish. Oren began work on a big artistic project which will involve transforming his room and making it more homelike for him. It was a truly glorious day, in terms of weather, maybe a bit like a crisp clear fall day on the East Coast, and so we took a few walks around the compound. David has really enjoyed reconnecting with our young neighbor Josiah and they've spent quite a bit of time playing around outside. In the late afternoon, we met Paul at Gymkhana and enjoyed some exercise there: David jumped in the pool (crazy kid!) and Oren and I used the treadmills. I was so proud of Oren for running a 5k voluntarily!

women's bible study

On my other non-office day, I took the kids along with me to Bible study. David was really happy to play with a few other kids who hadn't yet started school. It was really good to catch up with the other women after 6 weeks. Sadly, we were saying goodbye to yet another longtime member of the group. At this point I think there are only 3 people who are part of the group who have been in Arusha more than a year. This is a very transitory community! On the way home, we picked up three of Oren's school friends. They had a really great time reconnecting, talking a lot about video games, and just enjoying being guys together.

baptismal pool from our balcony

Alan and Simon baptize Adam

There were a few other fun things that happened on the compound this week, apart from the really refreshing walks that Paul and I (and sometimes the kids) have been taking every evening. On Thursday afternoon our little swimming pool was cleaned and filled with water for the first time, for the purpose of baptizing two people on the Joshua Foundation team. One young man was from the US and really felt the call to be baptized as an adult believer (he had been baptized as an infant). The other person was a team member from the local community. As renters, we are not quite on the team, but it was really nice to observe the baptism and celebrate with them.  After that, we all enjoyed a big potluck team dinner together and again, it was good to catch up with our neighbors. 

Playing cards at George's after church

In other news, we enjoyed our typical Friday evening at Gymkhana. We even all got into the pool. I was really happy to try out my new wetsuit and to find that it is just as wonderful as Paul promised! It's warm and bouyant! I hope I'll be able to swim laps again soon, as soon as the kids are back in school. On Saturday evening we invited another new family to come share dinner with us. They are starting a Young Life ministry here for third culture kids at the International Schools in town. I've been getting to know the woman, Mary Beth, in bible study, but it was great to spend time talking with both of them. Our kids enjoyed being with their little girls, too. Today, we enjoyed church again, and then a nice lunch at George's with former MCC friends here in town, Neil, Christy and her brother Dan. 

All of these good and grounding events have been taking place during a week of great sadness. On Wednesday, I learned that one of the women who cleans our office block had lost her husband. He was a young man, who happened to have a motorcycle accident. His injuries didn't seem that severe, so he didn't go to the hospital until two weeks later. By that time, he had developed some sort of serious complications and he died within two days. I have known far too many people already this year who have been killed or seriously injured after a boda-boda accident.

Even more shocking was the news we received on Friday at noon. The week before we returned, our neighbor Upendo had given birth by c-section to their third child. She worked as an accountant and her husband Archbold is the principal of the teacher training college here at Joshua Foundation. We would often talk with him early in our stay here, as he brough his 4 & 5 year old kids to play on the trampoline on the base. And then Friday morning, about 10 days after delivering, Upendo suddenly didn't feel well. Her husband got her into the car and they were on their way to the hospital but she died on the way. No one really knows the cause, but it was almost certainly a complication related to the c-section. I had to break the news to Nai, and she was absolutely devastated, along with all the other staff here on base who had known and loved Upendo. She and another housekeeper usually share lunch outside, but that day they shared only tears. 

Since Friday afternoon, there has been a steady stream of friends and relatives walking past our house and going to sit and spend time with Archbold and the extended family. Paul and I went over yesterday to pay our respects, and I think there were at least a hundred people there, just sitting and grieving together with the family. Sometimes we have been hearing wailing. Other times, fervent and loud prayers are drifting over the hedges. We didn't know Upendo well personally, and so I guess it's a wierd feeling to be immersed in so much communal grief without a deep personal connection. But it is just so horrible to think of Archbold now needing to raise 3 little kids (including a newborn) on his own. And it makes me very angry to know of yet another needless death, due to an inadequate medical system. 

Since coming back, Oren has asked several times: Mommy, why do we always have to go live in a developing country? I've tried the bigger picture: because development is the kind of work we do. The problems are big and complex here, and it's good to try to think through with our kids all the layers of development that need attention. Oren and I had a long talk about how if you need better education, you need better-trained teachers, and better salaries and resources to attract more qualified personnel. Classrooms size should be 30 not 200, which also means limiting family size, which requires changes in cultural expectations and behavior.  But maybe it's better to be more specific: we're here to help prevent the kind of suffering Upendo's family is going through now, if there is any small way we can do that. 

Vacation's End: Reflections on a High School Reunion and Charter Hall

David fishing at Charter Hall.

It's about 11pm here in Arusha. We have been back for a bit less than 24 hours and I want to get a blog posted before starting back to work tomorrow morning. A whole new set of activities will start then--more the feel of another beginning, and I want to savor the events of the final 2 weeks of our time in the US. I could say vacation, but returning home for an annual visit does not have the contours of a vacation. Often, a home leave after any amount of time away involves much relationship maintenance and rebuilding. Catching up with friends and family can be both physically and emotionally exhausting, yet the work put in, like cultivating a good vineyard, yields fruit over time for many years, and generations to come.

I don't think I can sum up all of the individual reunions we had. The time however, divided itself into four fairly even segments. As I mentioned in the last post, we spent the first week and Rebecca's parents' house and had time with my brother's family who came up and saw us from Nashville. The second week, we housesat for Rebecca's brother who lives in our old neighborhood and we had many opportunities to catch up with our 'homies'.

 The third week was a special treat as I had made plans for Rebecca and I to go to North Carolina for my highschool reunion. This was to be a trip for the two of us to Black Mountain and we were looking forward to having a little time together without the kids. Our parents very generously agreed to watch them for four days. Most of the time they were with Rebecca's parents, but twice they took turns visiting my parents and apparently had a blast and helped out with many chores and activities including, mowing lawns, making melon balls and jam, and picking apples and tomatoes.  We drove down in my dad's Honda fit. It would be about a 7 hour drive but we added a stop at a town near Winston-Salem to see my brother Mark's family. We got there in the late afternoon and saw Mark, Christine, and their daughter Grace. It was good to catch up with them albeit briefly. They made us beef brisket which
kicked off a long string of tasty Southern dishes that we partook in during our visit.

We headed on to Black Mountain in the evening and got there by 10pm. The reunion spanned 5 days at this very cool old YMCA resort. I will not forget walking into the lounge that connected most of the rooms and seeing over dozen older but familiar faces sitting around chatting. (No one had gone to bed.)

It might be a good time to answer the question of why a high school reunion would go beyond a single afternoon or evening. Or why people would come quite literally from all over the world to be at their 40th reunion. The answer is that I graduated from a school called Woodstock, located in the foothills of the Himalayan mountains in a town called Mussoorie in Northern India. It was a mission boarding school that is now a well known International school. My classmates were an amazingly eclectic group of people from all over the world. I think 50 of us represented about 20 different countries. We were diverse in terms of social classes as well, missionary kids, diplomatic and military kids, kids of oil company execs, many children of Indian businessmen, pilots, doctors, statesmen. And kids of every faith-- Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, and Muslim. We all lived together, and I believe that the time spent living together in this remote place without our familes, built us into a cohesive community. We were all family to each other, and going to this reunion, the fourth one I have attended, felt like coming back to see one's favorite childhood cousins. We don't keep up much beyond Facebook but when we are together, it is a special time.

We usually have reunions in India on the 5 year marks and in the US on the 10 year marks to accomodate as many as possible. I can only describe the time together as deeply renewing. One of the really fun things was cooking together. One of the alums from the class below us, James Hackney, offered to coordinate all meals and be head chef if we would be prep cooks and cleaners. It was fun to work together and James made some amazing meals including one of the best Indian meals I have had in the US, as well as a North Carolina barbecue, smoked for about 10 hours that was to die for.

Other activities we did included a hike--since hiking in the Himalayas was our 'screen time' at Woodstock. (That was the main activity we did when we were not in school.)  We found, however, that we were not as young as we used to be and ascending 2000 feet in two miles was far easier than going down, and many of us were staggering down with very sore knees. But we did have a great time doing it.

The best part were the 2nd and 3rd evenings (over the weekend) when most everyone was there. There were about 20 of us of our class of 50, and on thos nights we sat around a campfire and shared one-by-one what we have been doing, our successes, failures. It is probably anathema to most people to imagine going back to your graduating class to be completely vulnerable and share your heart. But with this group it was possible. I cannot describe what a moving and renewing experience it was.

I made one observation about our 40th reunion during my talk. It was that the past 2 I had attended, 20 and 25, we were all still looking at the arc of our lives and seeing that we were still on the side of it that was rising. (I used an image of us as arrows shot from bows in 1978.) Now at 40, we seem to have generally crested. The top of the arc is somewhere behind us. And that does not mean we are at the end of our life, but I think part of the capacity to be vulnerable comes from the fact that we are not in the phase of 'striving'. We are mature and able to 'take stock' as it were, of what is good, and what is not, and talk about it. In my own time of sharing I compared my life to a very ambitious hike a group of us did in our senior year to the source of the Jumna river, and then tried to summit a peak called 'Bundarpunch', which is 20,700 feet. It was on a glacier and we tried 3 times to climb it with only 1 pick ax between about 6 of us. It was crazy and we never made it, but we did get to around 18,000 feet on a glacier. In my life I feel like I have always been a striver. I generally have the perseverence to aim high--to summit, albeit ill-prepared and somewhat naively--a high peak. I had the courage to try again and again despite several failures, and like our ascent to Bundarpunch, I never made it to the top. But I do not regret the exhileration I feel from having stood at 18,000 feet.

My life continues to feel like an adventure and that climbing experience at Woodstock was a good metaphor for it. It was good to be in the company of some of those who were with me on that trip-- Mits, Mark Liechty, Stuart Gelzer, and remember it as well. It was also good to hear about the successes and challenges of classmates. Many have accomplished impressive things in their careers, several teachers, artists, engineers, academics, diplomats, policy makers, faith leaders, authors, nurses, health professionals at NIH and CDC, corporate executives, a radio personality, one even ended up in Hollywood--all of them shaped by their experience of being third culture kids. That is probably another thing that gives us such a feeling of family.

Rebecca even felt included in that group for that reason.  She has known some of them from past reunions, but also shares the experience of growing up out of one's own culture. Rebecca and I did have some time to do some hiking and swimming together without the group. I also was happy that my brother Mark came down for one afternoon as he was a graduate of the class of 1980 and knew most everyone there.

I left feeling very joyful, like I had had a faith renewal. And it was that although I don't think I can fully explain why. Perhaps because it is good to laugh and cry with people who you love and have not seen for a very long time. I look forward to going back to Woodstock for number 45 in 2023.

Rebecca and I retuned home on Monday of our third week and had to do a number of doctors appointments and other errands. It was busy. We also spent some time with our parents again going between homes for different meals including a Maryland crab feast! Dave and Jean joined us one evening at my parents retirement home and we had a great time with the kids playing bocce ball. There is a very nice court and we played for a few hours. It was good to this with both sides of our family. The children also did some outings with Rebecca while I attended a conference in DC one day. They went to the Baltimore zoo which is another old haunt we used to enjoy. I don't know if seeing the safari animals they see in the wild here was as satisfying this time around though.

On the following Sunday, our last in Baltimore, I did a presentation of the MCC program in Tanzania, then Rebecca preached a sermon. It was a very poignant message, I believe, that captured the challenge of what identity in Christ means in our country at this cultural moment, when identity itself has become somewhat of an obsession. She treated the subject thoughtfully and gently using a text from James 1. I am attaching a link to the sermon below if you are interested in hearing it. It will also be available in higher fidelity from the North Baltimore Mennonite Church website.

The last week, we returned to Charter Hall. I don't know if I can do this place poetic justice because I have described it in so many past blogs and cannot muster the metaphors at this late hour. But it is a retreat center on an estuary of the Chesapeake Bay of which Rebecca's parents are part owners. It has been a part of her childhood, a part of our whole married life, and the entire life of our children. It has a dock house and a lodge. We usually stay in the former and enjoy the simple pleasures like canoeing, kayaking, fishing, swimming, watching wildlife-- bald eagles and otters this year. To our children it is magical and one of the few things for which they will happily give up days of screen time.

We went up on Sunday afternoon with Rebecca's parents and stayed the night. On Monday we hosted my parents and some very old family friends (Louise, and Charlene) along with Rebecca's folks. It was good to spend time with them and remember our youth (since Rebecca and I grew up in the same circle of friends.) David spent every moment divising ways to catch minnows which he then used to catch bigger fish. Oren was content to be indoors more and we played, off and on, a 3 day game of Axis and Allies-- a WWII game that is quite involved. Each round of turns can take an hour. (I'm happy to say that the Allies did win that game.)

On Monday night through Wednesday we invited another family, Bill and Ashley, with their kids Liam and Oz to join us. Liam is David's age but Oz is only 4. Oren, however, really hit it off with him as Oz is very extroverted and quite funny. They spent much of one afternoon on a kayak with Oren paddling and Oz sitting crosslegged on the bow with a supersoaker which he used to squirt anyone in a boat who came near.

We had a nice time having some adult time with Bill and Ashley as well. The weekend was not complete without a campfire and smores on the last night. We departed in the afternoon on Wednesday and got home for dinner at Dave and Jean's that evening. (We wisely got the latest flu shot on the way home at a pharmacy since we can't easily get it in Arusha.)

Thursday was mostly dedicated to packing. We had to distribute the weight of all our new purchases for ourselves and friends between 8 suitcases. Rebecca is the master logician at that. (I pack them all into the van.) We had our last supper with Rebecca and my parents on Thursday night. It was a sweet time but it really felt like we had transitioned from vacation back to our life in TZ when we left Chareter Hall and started packing. We spent the time thinking ahead, rather than back in our conversations that night.

We went to bed late despite the fact that we had to get up at 5am and leave for Dulles airport at 6. The flight back was somewhat grueling. Again, the giant A380 was packed full and I was not sitting together with Rebecca and the kids. Fortunately the person next to me did get up frequently which allowed me to move and walk around. I watched many movies from the Marvel comic series in the 13 hours back to Dubai. We had a short layoover there but about 6 hours in Dar Es Salaam.

Dar was as bad as we feared it might be. Since it was our first stop in TZ we suspected we would have to retrieve all of our bags and go through customs-- we did. (Despite the fact that at Dulles we were assured that bags would be checked to Arusha, in our experience, you have to go through customs and immigration at first port of entry.) What was worse was the switch to the domestic terminal to get a small airline (Precision) back to Arusha. They were not able to check us in more than 2 hours before the flight so we had to hang out in the terminal by the gate where there was no seating, no restaurants, and 8 bags and two very tired cranky kids. (Hooray for computers and internet!) We spent about 3 hours on the dirty concrete floor sitting among our bags before could check in. The plane was slightly delayed to arrive but we left about 8:30 pm for Arusha and arrived and out of the airport by 10pm. Our taxi driver was waiting for us, and took us the last hour and 45 minutes home. We arrived around midnight, dead tired and slept easily through the night.

We did get up and go to church (because we never miss church;-) and then had lunch at George's Tavern so David could have seafood pizza. The kids have 2 more weeks without school, and I cannot say Oren was thrilled to be back. He really misses America. But I am ready to be back to work tomorrow, so I am signing off now. Thanks to all of you who read this blog and especially those who we were able to see in the past month in Baltimore and North Carolina.

Bonus link: Rebecca's sermon here