Paul and Rebecca Mosley in Tanzania: March 2021

staying present to the present

We knew that it would not be easy to endure these weeks of separation, while Paul is carrying on work in Addis, and I (Rebecca) am back in Arusha with our kids in school. It was just harder to anticipate exactly what would be difficult. I’m just starting to name the real hardship: struggling to be present where I am. When my husband and best friend and colleague with whom I job-share is thousands of miles and a (and a frustrating 3-second WhatsApp delay!) away, I’m constantly living in tension. Do I give Paul a call after dinner to see how his evening has been? Or do I play Munchkin with David, or make sure that Oren is attending to his art homework? (or do I spend the time just trying to get the kitchen back to zero?) I want to do all of it, all of it is good, and yet I end up having to make choices to give time and attention to one person I love and not another. It makes it even harder during this time to maintain phone calls with our parents.

evidence of campus tree-trimming

Our time in Addis coincided with the kids’ half-term break, and they were due to resume classes the day after we returned. On short notice, the school let us know that kids would be moving to online school for a week. Apparently, the mandatory process of tree trimming had not been completed, and they needed another week to work on the trees in order for the kids to be safe on campus. It was one of the more ingenious ways that I can think of to make sure that any kids who might have traveled during the holidays had a week to “cool off” at home. At least I didn’t need to struggle with the question of how long to keep my kids out of classes and have them fall behind.

dough creations including dog, rabbit and mom

I found that both kids were much more adept at doing online classes this time around, engaging well and doing their work diligently. Of course, I still also needed to be working on work, which was also all screen-based. It is just so weird to have staff meetings with our new team, and to gradually learn to just know them by voice. The internet is usually not quite good enough to use the video camera for our team calls. We had a little more time for home projects. David had been inspired by an airport bakery and so one afternoon we created various creatures out of bread dough.

homework

There was some recreational painting, as well as Oren’s school art homework. And there was lots and lots of Monopoly. Sadly, I just couldn’t stop winning. So much winning I was tired of winning. I guess that was my divine reward for giving so many hours to monopoly as a parent, but it made it a little less fun for the kids.

After a week of being cooped up, we were so glad to have a chance to spend time with our friends the Taylors at Rivertrees, a local safari lodge that is particularly green and restful and very much outdoors. I really valued getting to talk to adult friends about all the complicated feelings of this moment. And the boys really enjoy being with their friends, hanging out in the pool, throwing a frisbee, playing cards, etc.

Rivertrees is a sweet place

So here are some of the complicated feelings. Having been to Addis now, I am more keenly aware of the apparent gains and losses. In terms of our work, it’s not even fair to compare the former program of Tanzania with that of Ethiopia. MCC Ethiopia is a massive and ambitious program. Our program supervises multiple well-funded projects in conservation agriculture. MCC has played a key role in supporting local partners to lobby for Conservation Agriculture to become a recognized and chosen strategy by the Ministry of Agriculture. It is really exciting to be part of this meaningful work. The Mennonite church in Ethiopia is involved is many different kinds of high quality development and relief work, including planning a relief effort in Tigray through local churches. There are so many high capacity partners. And our Ethiopian MCC colleagues are such kind, wise, experience people, who are truly not afraid to give us good advice and keep us out of trouble. I am incredibly grateful for all those good aspects of what we can look forward to.
Arusha green beauty

On the personal side, however, I do feel a lot of grief. I am not going to sugar coat it. We have worked hard to build a community here, and to be connected in our local church, and we have made some very dear friends. While I trust that we will find new friends and a new sense of community, that will not happen immediately or automatically. It will take time and work. And the friends we have made cannot just be replaced. As I have mentioned in past years in this blog, I am very tired of moving around and leaving friends and making new ones. It is a weary prospect to think of having to do that again. And I greive in advance, especially for Oren, who will need to leave friends here, and then leave a new set of friends in Addis after just two years when he graduates from high school. It’s hard for a kid to bear this.

Contrasting colors at Gymkana

I spent at least a full week being back in Arusha grieving the impending loss of other things that really give me life and a deeper sense of connection with God. Addis is vibrant and interesting, with interesting entertainment options, but it is not clean or green or quiet. After the kids were back in school, I also returned to savoring a bit of solitude, as well as a few walks around the coffee plantations that surround the kids’ school. Even 7-minute walks in the morning before driving to school, in the quiet, fragrant, green serenity of our compound, do more than I can say to help my heart praise my God. It will be hard to leave the beauty of nature here.

I need to go on faith that God will provide other ways for me to feel connected to Him and refreshed in my spirit. I also need to consider that peace, calm, and well-being are gifts, and not entitlements for us as Christians. Suffering is also often required of those who serve the Lord, as much as I don’t want to contemplate that. A helpful scripture: “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” (John 7:24). I don’t like that Jesus says this, be he only asks that we follow in the way that He leads.

Coffee cherries

In the midst of keeping up with my split screen work life in Ethiopia, I have also need to continue to shepherd through a few administrative details of the closure of the TZ office. One concerns the National Social Security Fund, which collects mandatory pension contributions from every employee and then disburses them, upon request, when that employment is complete. But in the midst of working on simple employee payments, I get to learn about sad justice issues that impact ordinary people here.

We had a Maasai guard who formerly worked for our last country director. He was let go in August after she moved. He went home to his village out of town. Since September, he has been striving to reclaim his money. First, they told him that he could not collect his money unless he opened a bank account for it to be deposited into. He lives hand to mouth, so it was hard for him to spend the money to open an account, but he did it. When he brought his bank information back to the NSSF, they noted that his name on the bank account didn’t match his NSSF account or his ID card. The poor guy can’t read or write and so he had never realized this. He had to hire a lawyer to prove he was the same person. Every futile trip to town cost him money he did not have. Finally two weeks ago, the NSSF started asking for his employer to provide receipts documenting things from 2011. Finally a call came to me (I had no idea he was still struggling with this), and I was able to go into their office with the papers, faithfully filed and findable by our former Adminstrator, and sort out the thing. God willing, by the end of this week, he might finally get his money. But it’s incredibly difficult for illiterate or poor people to navigate a system, which in theory is supposed to benefit them. In the end, I think many people might give up, leaving money in the bank for the nation to invest…

I’ve had a little extra time for walks because the kids both currently have supplementary activities at school every Saturday morning. Oren is doing extra preparation for his exams in May, and David joined the school drama team. They will perform Matilda next week. Anyway, there has been more time for Lenten reflection on those Saturday mornings. And we’ve taken to treating ourselves to lunch at a restaurant afterwards, since we have some very good outdoor, safe options here.

My Split-screen tension was worse in last week because we had another round of online MCC leadership training over 3 evenings. This time I had to enlist the help of a taxi to pick the kids up and bring them home because the start time of the training was exactly when the kids were ready to be picked up.

David's burritos

They were even more resourceful about helping out and making dinner and getting to their homework – I guess they are getting used to this kind of drill. But it really makes me sad and tired when I just don’t have any evening time to spend with them. And it’s pretty hard to keep concentrating on work discussion up to 8 pm, when I need to get up at 5 am every day to get us out of the house on time.

Paul has been working very, very hard there in Ethiopia, and has a huge head start in fully understanding the partners and projects there. I’m glad I have at least a small inkling of what our work will look like in the future, but for now, it’s also been really hard to keep up while I’m far from the center of action. We are in the midst of a recruitment process for a new Ethiopian team member. Due to unavoidable delays, Paul needed to stay a week longer in Addis so he could conduct in-person interviews (I was online of course).

My work buddy Tramp

He was finally supposed to be flying back and arriving this evening—right now! Unfortunately, yesterday afternoon, his CV test for travel came back positive. It was absolutely devastating news. We are so weary of being apart. So weary. We are definitely a couple that is better together. And it’s scary to contemplate the possibility that he could get sick and be alone in a different country. Thankfully, up until now, he remains symptom-free. Would you please pray that he remains healthy and that he will be able to return to us as soon as possible?

That’s all for now.

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